Lohocla's Drunken Memory Teleport
(Alteration, Wild Magic)

Range:  5 feet per level
Components:  V
Duration:  Permanent
Casting Time:  2
Area of Effect:  Special
Saving Throw:  Special

Another of Lohocla's gifts to strange wizards this is the low-level sister spell to Lohocla's tipsy turvey teleport. Although it may seem quite powerful, it is not. The consequences of casting this spell are quite dangerous, which will be mentioned later. Many 1st-level spells would be a much better pick, but some half-crazed wizards add this spell to their collection for a little random spontaneity.
When this spell is used, the wizard is able to teleport a maximum weight of 250 pounds, plus additional 150 pounds for each level of experience above tenth (a 13th-level wizard can teleport up to 700 pounds), to a randomly selected place. The place must have an alcohol theme (inns, taverns, bars, wineries, breweries, distilleries, vineyards, etc.) and be a location visited by the wizard after receiving the spell. Thus, a wizard who just copied the spell into his spell book would have a non-functioning spell until he visited an alcohol related location. The player should make a table of all the locations and once the spell is cast, roll on the table to see where the teleportees go to. The DM may opt to make the locations on the table be weighted thus making the more frequently visited places become the target of the spell more often. The spell functions by scanning the character's subconscious for those places in memory where alcohol or alcohol themes were present.
Every living being or magic item gets a saving throw, if desired (a person who wants himself and his belongings teleported doesn't need making a saving throw). If the saving throw is successful, the wizard and any comrades and friends (the spell scans the wizard's mind to see who should accompany the spell) are teleported instead as long as everybody's weight is under the maximum weight able to be teleported. It is the DM's decision who gets teleported with the wizard if everybody can't be teleported because of the weight restriction.
Because the spell's effects can be reversed and the spell uses the wizard's memories, it can be very dangerous for the wizard if he uses it against enemies. Mainly, the spell sends the enemies to the establishments that the wizard visited and if the wizard ever returns to these places, the people there will probably be quite upset. The best use of the spell is to cast it on oneself and your comrades so you will be teleported to the places. Of course, if there are hostile places that you can be teleported to, then you could be in an even worse situation. Also, not too many adventuring parties will want to chance leaving in the middle of an adventure because of this spell.
Unlike its sister spell, Lohocla's tipsy turvey teleport, this spell permanently teleports the teleportees to the location.

